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The Mechanical Lobster Coalition was a real-life guild formed by Somarinoa on the Alexstrasza Server when it first went live in 2006. It is one of the earliest guilds on the server though it has been unused since before the release of Cataclysm in 2011. Intended as a fun guild rather than a serious leveling one, it had small snippets of background lore to coincide with it.
History[]
10 BDP—6 ADP (586—597 KY)[]
10 BDP: Humble Origins[]
What would become the Mechanical Lobster Coalition initially started as a small collection of Gnomish fishing vessels, sailing along the bay nestled between Dun Morogh, Gilneas, and Tol Barad. It initially consisted of 5, and then later 12 vessels overseen by Captain Pystone Stammervalve. Only two of these ships utilized a crew larger than 10 individuals: These were Stammervalve's own ship, The Better Future, and another owned by his brother, the Seize the Bay. Although the crews were not prosperous by any means, they all were able to live comfortably with what they could provide for their families back home in Gnomeregan.
5 ADP: Guerilla Warfare[]
Five years after the opening of the Dark Portal the Horde had conquered Khaz Modan, trapping the inhabitants of Gnomeregan within the snowy valley. Realizing that his wife and child were now virtually prisoners, Pystone and his brother agreed to convert their fishing vessel fleet into guerilla warfare ships with an emphasis on the capability for swift hit & run tactics against Horde ships. The name for this newfound coalition was an easy one to come by: Their ships were Gnomish and thus steam-powered, hence the "mechanical"; and they often specialized in catching rock lobsters in the bay as their most profitable bycatch. During this period, only 2 of their fishing vessels were sank during battle. The Waving Claw misjudged the distance between it and a fired cannonball and ended up speeding directly into it while the Bubbling Burden had its steam engine flood and were stranded in the water, allowing the Troll Destroyer it had been attacking to aim upon them without difficulty.
6 ADP: The First Coalition Forms[]
Within a year's time the Alliance of Lordaeron was able to liberate Khaz Modan from the clutches of the Orcish Hordes, thus freeing Pystone's family. Deeply relieved the Stammervalve Brothers pledged their loyalty to the Alliance and legally became the Mechanical Lobster Coalition upon updating their charter. The brothers pool their resources together to be able to afford two Human ships: an icebreaker and a frigate, both of which were purchased from the island nation of Kul Tiras. Before leaving the island they hired crews to work each vessel with a Tirasian female named Claurosa Halyndor to command the frigate Freebird and an unnamed individual to command the icebreaker Floecrusher. However the Floecrusher's captain turned out to be a closeted alcoholic and not long after leaving Kul Tiras he found himself drunk on deck in the middle of the night and falling overboard where he was presumed to have drown as no body was ever recovered. Now closer to Tol Barad than Kul Tiras, the Stammervalves had the Floecrusher dock again at Rustberg Village where they hired a new captain, the young and brash Stromic Noirren Melosus.
Near the end of the war they recruited a gruff High Elf fisherman that the Stammervalves had known in the past known as "Fishwhiskers" Misttracker after the captain of one of their retrofitted fishing vessels was killed by Goblin Sappers while relieving himself while docked. Instead of continuing usage of the retrofitted vessel he instead added his own Elven Destroyer to the fleet, known as the Lady Amalthea, and took the remaining crew of the other vessel aboard as he had no crew of his own.
20—23 ADP (6111—614 KY)[]
20 ADP: The Third War[]
The Third War begins when Prince Arthas Menethil is corrupted by the cursed blade Frostmourne and uses it to kill his father the king and leave the entire Capital City of Lordaeron to be overtaken by the Scourge. Horrified upon hearing what had occurred, the Stammervalve Brothers signed themselves back up for the war effort. On Pystone's side he chose to do this mostly to show his newly-adult Asmodel to do what is right and how to honor one's commitments, as well to show his son just how much it meant to him that the Alliance freed his family all those years prior.
This directly led to his son eventually taking up the mantle as leader.
21 ADP: A Full Fleet[]
Upon the discovery of Kalimdor and the subsequent alliance with Kal'dorei to stop Archimonde from destroying the World Tree Nordrassil, the Mechanical Lobster Coalition successfully recruited the Kal'dorei female Loreliel and her personal ship, the Drassil'thor (Crown's Fury.) This was what is considered to be the peak strength of the First Coalition when all six major "Krab Admirals" were in service at the same time—the Stammervalve Brothers, Claurosa Halyndor, "Fishwhiskers" Misstracker, Loreliel, and Noirren Melosus. This time of prosperity would not last, however.
22 ADP: The Tragedy of the Floecrusher[]
Over the last three years, Noirren had taken on a group of adventurers. Although this was intended to be a temporary gig, the swashbuckler Gilnean Charity Lovejoy felt an immediate attraction to the captain and she made excuses to continue to use his services as a transport. During the third expedition the two consummated their budding romance and became lovers. From then on they continued to travel aboard the Floecrusher.
Two years after Prince Arthas claimed Frostmourne and succumbed to corruption, the icebreaker traveled back to the continent of Northrend. With the intent to map the entire coastline of the continent the ship made its way from Muradin's base camp in the Howling Fjords counter-clockwise around the continent. On the journey they encounter some resistance from a small "flock" of young proto-dragons before even leaving the Howling Fjords, and later had to out-maneuver Ice Troll bat-riders patrolling Gun'Drak. While passing through the Storm Peaks they were hit with a severe storm and it was everything that they could do to survive and push forward. For a brief moment the crew were able to see Ulduar high above them but then the clouds rolled back in. During this time Melosus began to hear what he thoughts were whispers within the high winds threatening to snap his ship's masts. He tried to ignore them and pressed on.
Although they happen to see the small northern island of Tualiq the storm prevents them from being able to made a landing there, where they may have received aid from the local Tuskarr. Unfortunately had they landed here they likely would have prevented the coming tragedy. Instead, the team woke up some time later adrift near a large glacier, the winds died down significantly. Having not set foot on land in what felt like ages and being exhausted, Admiral Melosus ordered the ship to set anchor just off-shore in dangerously shallow water. Bundling up in heavy coats supplied to them by a Tuskarr encampment years earlier, he ship's hero team —the focused crossbowman Artax, the heartbreaker swashbuckler Charity Lovejoy, the trophy hunter Darvis Demalier and his pet bear Harbinger, the youthful mage Gregor, the unconventional priestess Lucille Coulter—all went ashore. At first only finding a large pack of glacier penguins the heroes explored deeper with the intent to tell the icebreaker's actual crew about the penguins so they could come ashore to hunt them and fill some of their used supplies.
The party let their guard down in this isolated area but began to realize something was wrong when the glacier penguins sent out a loud distressful raucous and fled back into the sea. It was then that the team saw what was wrong: The island was host to a large number of undead monstrosities and they had caught whiff of fresh flesh. They were running towards the party. Quickly realizing that they could not hope to defeat all of them the party retreated back towards the Floecrusher, shouting about the danger and to ready the ship for departure. It wasn't long before the Dwarven enforcer Burlbeard Stonehammer heard their cries and called the captain over. Melosus then called up to the crow's nest to see what was going on and it was this man who told them of the serious danger on its way. Melosus was frightened—his girlfriend was on that glacier! However the whispers he had thought he heard in the storm suddenly came rushing back to him and panic set over him. He tried to convince himself to hold and that the party would make it back to the ship but as they got closer it looked like the undead were quickly closing the distance. He began to doubt their ability to make it back and began to fear that he then wouldn't have the time to set sail and save the rest of his crew. He begged and pleaded with the party in his internal monologue to double their pace but ultimately, his cowardice won. In his mind he knows for a fact that they would not make it in time and so with a deeply anguished heart he ordered the anchor drawn. The party watched in horror as the Floecrusher began to drift away... In fact the party had made good time and they had several minutes to spare before the undead would have reached them. They could have escaped. Her heart dashed that her own beloved had betrayed not only her but her entire party she screamed out to the Floecrusher about how much of a coward he was and that she would find him, even in death. The realization that he had doomed them eats away at Melosus' mind and is tripled at the horrors of hearing the party's wretched cries of extreme pain as they were ripped apart. In time even those cries faded as they disappeared along the horizon but those same cries would be seared into Melosus' memory for all of time.
The ship survived but the mood had turned perpetually somber. Nobody really spoke to one another beyond mere commands while the ship slowly made it past Sholazar Basin and made a temporary anchoring along the Borean Tundra where they hunted for new supplies. They then set back off for the Eastern Kingdoms, eventually docking in Menethil Harbor. Upon docking the entire crew abandoned Melosus, including Burlbeard who intended to return home to Ironforge. However Melosus stopped the Dwarf and told him he needed him now more than ever. He felt something was always watching him and believed something was now after him for the tragedy. Silently but begrudgingly Burlbeard stays on and the two hire a new 18 crewmembers that have no idea what had just transgressed only weeks earlier. Guilt wracked Melosus' mind and he was never the same after that. He severs ties with the Coalition without stating as such and goes on a journey along the coasts of the world but never far from a relatively-safe Alliance camp.
23 ADP: The Fall of the First Coalition[]
25—27 ADP (616—618 KY)[]
25 ADP: Heir to an Empire[]
For the next two years, Pystone's son and wife would have no idea whatever could have become of him and would be left to worry about his fate as not a single word about the Coalition would pass through Gnomeregan. However when the city was suddenly invaded by a horde of Troggs, lethal radiation was vented in the hopes of stopping the creatures. Unfortunately this resulted in the irradiation of numerous Gnomes as well and the city quickly fell. Luckily the Stammervalve family made it out in time but they now found themselves homeless.
Distraught about the loss of their homeland Pystone's son Asmodel sought to find out where his father was so he could inform him of what had happened and beg him to return home. This took him from the newly built Tinker Town in Ironforge through the tramway to Stormwind City and its docks. Here he learned that no one had heard from the Mechanical Lobster Coalition since Kings Year 614—two whole years prior. Asmodel immediately knew something was wrong. Although he did not have any money now that Gnomeregan had fallen, he would seek to rebuild the Coalition with him instated as its leader until they could find his father, hopefully alive. Through some campaigning over the next six hours he would encounter someone willing to help him: a Kal'dorei female named Akire. She paid to have a new charter drafted on the grounds that she would have a say in the running of the Coalition. Asmodel agreed and soon the charter was signed and the Second Coalition was official. However, none of its ten initial members had the funds to purchase a ship and so the Second Coalition would be doing most of its adventuring on foot.
Prosperous Times[]
The next six months would be a great time for Asmodel. The Coalition prospered and grew to well over 100 members. He would form a council of 5 that included three Kal'dorei (Akire, Honeyido, and Jiffy), a human from Stormwind (Carinne), and himself. Two of these councilors had even fallen in love. In his heart he felt they would soon discover what had happened to his father and he could show him then that he had succeeded in building the Coalition to an incredible size in his father's absence and make his lost parent proud of him.
The Fall of the Second Coalition[]
Only six months into the second Coalition's life, and things were a little more rocky than they had been. While he was away the two lover councilors, Jiffy and Akire, had begun throwing people out of the Coalition who they felt did not meet the standards or the rules of the guild. While Asmodel thought this was fine as this was believed to be a normal occurrence among guilds, he would bring up at one meeting that he would like to be told when someone was removed from their ranks. While he intended this to only mean that he would know who not to bring back into the group should they ask him, it was taken as him trying to wield power over the two councilors. Akire took deep offense to this request and convinced her lover to join her in a mutiny. Within a week the coalition turned into turmoil and ultimately tore itself apart despite Asmodel's desperate attempts to keep it together.
Picking Up the Pieces[]
In the end over half of the original Coalition left with Akire and Jiffy, though Honeyido and Carinne remained with him. Over the next few weeks the guild suffered from colony collapse syndrome and more and more important members fell off and disappeared. Eventually Honeyido also left, deciding that it would be best for her to find her own route in the world, alone. Carinne stuck by Asmodel through it along with the Ironforge Dwarf Danth Steadyshot and the Gilnean Human Vivica Darkmoore. A few stragglers also remained as members but did little in the way of supporting the Coalition. They eked out a meager existence for another two years.
27—33 ADP (618—624 KY)[]
27 ADP: Hopes for a Third Coalition[]
In Kings Year 618, Gelbin Mekkatorque moves on Gnomeregan. Having been in a deep, brooding depression for the last couple of years, Asmodel Stammervalve saw a chance to better his life and joins Mekkatorque in the battle. The Gnomes successfully retook the surface of the kingdom and Stammervalve felt a moment of clarity return to him, and during a short delve into the depths of Gnomeregan Asmodel was able to procure a small amount of his family's money holdings before being pushed back by foes. He immediately traveled back to Elwynn Forest and located with only minimal difficulty Krab Lady Carinne, his one remaining councilor from the Second Coalition. After some pleasantries had between the two he tells her his true reason for contacting her: He wanted to send her abroad with hopes of finding his father's missing ship captains with hopes of uniting the scattered remnants of the First and Second Coalitions to bolster strengths for a Third Coalition as he saw the retaking of Gnomeregan as a sign of luck in his life.
Although Stammervalve is unsure how she will react to his request, she readily agrees to go on this quest for him and begins her search for the three missing "admirals". He used a portion of the money to pay Carinne for her services.
27 ADP: Pirate Queen Loreliel[]
Carinne even surprised herself at how successful she was in her hunt for these missing captains. After paying a ship captain to take her along the coastlines of the Eastern Kingdoms they were stopped several miles off the shores of the former kingdom of Lordaeron by a band of pirates led by a Kal'dorei. The ship was boarded and ransacked and its crew taken hostage with each asked who the pirates should contact for ransom demands. Carinne told the pirate captain that she was a member of the Mechanical Lobster Coalition but that they had no holdings. The pirate leader perked up when she heard this and questioned Carinne further. As it turned out, this pirate queen was in fact Loreliel, one of the missing First Coalition captains. The two return to Loreliel's ship to speak in her captain's quarters.
Carinne tries hard to convince Loreliel to rejoin the Coalition in its Third Iteration but the Kal'dorei vehemently refuses, saying that she has come to love the life she now led. Carinne is visibly disappointed that she is unable to convince Loreliel and leaves empty-handed. Out of respect Loreliel returns their ship's belongings before sending them on their way. However as she watched the ship become a speck on the horizon she began to wonder if she had in fact made the right decision to not join their new adventure.
Cowardly Captain Noirren[]
A Chance Encounter[]
Yet Another Failure[]
28 ADP: The Shattering[]
28 years after the Dark Portal was opened, Deathwing emerged from the earth and caused devastation across the entire planet of Azeroth.
Years of Hardship[]
Following the Shattering, Asmodel no longer had it in him to rebuild. He fell out of communication with his only remaining longtime friend Danth Steadyshot and just quietly returned the Mechanical Lobster Coalition to its original fishing company roots, however he no longer referred to the group by that name and simply referred to each crew by their boat's name. Even then he fell out of contact with the other ships and they reached a brink of disbanding.
Mechanical Lobster I Crewmembers[]
Crew of the Better Future[]
The Better Future was a Gnomish steamship originally built for fishing but later redesigned with combat in mind. It was under the command of the Gnome Pystone Stammervalve, of Gnomeregan. It was active between the years 10 BPD—23 ADP (595—614 KY), at which point it mysteriously disappeared with rumors about its crew seeking out the mystical Dragon Isles. Survivors of the First Coalition believed the ship or perhaps the founders of the Coalition themselves to be cursed.
Last Known Location: Dragon Isles
- Admiral Pystone Stammervalve, Captain
- Steam Tyson, a mechanical Makrura built to aid in fishing
- 33 unnamed crew members
Crew of the Floecrusher[]
The Floecrusher was a Human icebreaker ship built specifically with Dwarven and Gnomish technology to cut through the sea ice surrounding the northern continent of Northrend. It was under the command of the Stromic Noirren Melosus, of Tol Barad. It was active between the years 6—22 ADP (597—613 KY), at which point it was scuttled during a plot to strand and assassinate its captain for past transgressions.
Post Location: Northrend
- Admiral Noirren Melosus, Captain
- Charity Lovejoy, Warrioress & Melosus' Lover
- Burlbeard Stonehammer, Enforcer
- Lucille Coulter, Priestess
- Artax, Crossbowman
- Gregor, Mage
- Darvis Demalier, Warrior
- Harbinger, Darvis' pet bear
- 17 unnamed crew members
Crew of the Freebird[]
The Freebird was a Human frigate purchased and built in Kul Tiras and put under the command of the Tirasian Claurosa Halyndor. It was active between the years 6—22 ADP (597—613 KY), at which point it was sunk in combat during the Founding of Durotar.
Post Location: Westfall
- Admiral Claurosa Halyndor, Captain
- 19 unnamed crew members
Crew of the Drassil'thor[]
Post Location: Lordaeron
- Admiral Loreliel, Rogue Captain
- 19 unnamed crew members
Crew of the Lady Amalthea[]
Post Location: Wetlands
- Admiral "Fishwhiskers" Misttracker, Captain
- Wenikee Gizzlesprocket, Engineer
- 18 unnamed crew members
Mechanical Lobster II Crewmembers[]
Primary Members[]
- Asmodel "Pocket Knight" Stammervalve, Lobster King
- Jiffy, Krab Lord — Deceased
- Akire, Krab Lord — Deceased
- Carinne, Krab Lord — MIA
- Danth Steadyshot, Sower of Terror
- Vivica Darkmoore, Sower of Terror (former)
- Honeyido, Right-Hand of Mechanical Lobster — Deceased
Cray Soldier[]
- Lilithia — Deceased
Shrympi[]
- Ahlamindo — Deceased
- Ashmo — Deceased
- Itami — Deceased
- Nikky — Deceased
Krill[]
- Leisen — Deceased
- Peppi — Deceased
Hermits[]
- Abrahamm — Deceased
- Aragons — Deceased
- Atton — Deceased
- Ayesuku — Deceased
- Docter — Deceased
- Fook — Deceased
- Jomammy — Deceased
- Malac — Deceased
- Nightofni — Deceased
- Pardunme — Deceased
- Primetime — MIA
Mechanical Lobster III Crewmembers[]
- Asmodel "Pocket Knight" Stammervalve, Lobster King
- Carinne, Krab Lord
- Danth Steadyshot, Sower of Terror
- Unspecified temporary member
- Unspecified temporary member
- Unspecified temporary member
- Unspecified temporary member